Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Hi! I have a new blog which has a slide show and cool stuff:

Thanks for visiting.
Thanks for being.

Monday, December 18, 2006

pics of Asia Love

Hong Kong density. Climbing to the Golden 'roof of the world' temple on Wu Dang mountain. Taichi'ers from around the world. Wonderful Ariana wondering~

Pics of Asia

Beauty Everywhere:
The amazing Derek and Sora and I at a funky cafe/bar Hangin' with a hooka in Beijing's HoHi lake hutong district, and nearby tower of Power (that's not the official name~).

Wednesday, November 29, 2006


Look on the map of Thailand, in the gulf, on the east side, for Koh Samui -there's an airport there, that's where I flew to from Hong Kong -then I got a farry over to Koh Pangan -the island just north. It's smaller with mello markets open to sell you dinner and shakes and lovely desserts for less than 5 bucks total! If you cooked for yourself, you could last DAYS on ten dollars. The mode of transport is taxis, or renting a motor scooter (easy to ride, and safe) for 8 bucks a day. Renting a cottage or cabanna is about that too. Nestled in palm trees and flowers, about a hundred yards from your private beach~!
The roads around the island -it's big, takes like, an hour to drive around, or more, are pretty good, You drive on the left.
There's wonderful snorkeling, and swimming. Its safe, but there's no waves~!
There's wind though, sometimes. The stars are brilliant, and its so warm at night you only need a sheet. There's house and beach parties at every quarter of the moons cycle.
Lots of hippies and foreigners. The thai are supper friendly.
Here with my beautiful wonderful dreamwarrior universe lover soul brother Colt.
He's been here 4 times! Learned to cook like, 30 thai dishes...can read the language and speak and write a bit.
We've taken up archery as a pastime. It's nice to shoot again -so many analogies and lessons in 'aiming' vs. 'shooting'...and intention. Focus and relaxation.
And him and I practice taichi pushhands.
In and out of the water. Ooohhh ~ Into that ocean. It's so warm and soft and Not so much changing temperature as state.
The friendly local dogs paddle around with us as we snorkle.
Well, this computer stuff is paling to the fragrant ocean wind. Blowing Curry, and star anise tree, and...Mmmmm...caressing my arm. Gotta go. Out into the palms and stars.
Big day tommorrow; herbal steam baths and thai massage.
You understand, right

'we are all (made of) stars'
'stars are all (made of) us'

We are spiritual beings experiencing humanity.
How is that different from Human beings experiencing spirituality...

Friday, October 27, 2006


I bought a set of long underware here, and the box is adorned with English. This apparently is a big draw for the Chinese shopper, as they hear amazing things about the west, and consider it advanced (I'm still not sure~). Yet, not much of our culture really filters through. I'm sure if Brad Pitt were to walk the streets here, next to nobody would recognize him as an actor from Hollywood -if they've even heard of Hollywood~ Well..Anyway, so I've deduced that the way the advertising is done here is that a Chinese meaning is written, in chinese, then translated -word for word with an English/Chinese dictionary or thesaurus (also written by someone Chinese). Here is what the box says:

Fashion (in box letters. This is the 'brand')
Warmth Sork (probably a description of the content items)

(then in smaller font, a more in-depth explaination and lifestyle pitch:)

'The personal status detall,in collects strong, i am only
causing my own lite, the might
as well as is direct-viewing. Enjoy the
life, enjoy the life leisure the joy.'
(this is awesome and profound I love it!!!)
(Then under that:) Angel Contents
(and a picture of a guy dancing and the fitting description, 'lead bird' written beside him)
(then on the bottom of the box, sheep in a pasture)

So, here in China, I have been welcomed and felt safe always. My travel and commerce have been smooth and unlimited. Its ironic that my first obstacle is in communicating with home; I can't access my webpage from here~! I can get onto the site to write and publish text (I think -if you're reading this, then yes), but I am unable to view my blog here...Hmmmm...could just be this computer~
So, my schedule:
6am -Tai chi form and weapons practice with Sifu Xia
8am -breakfast (with the perenial pressure to finish ALL the food and soup. I've learned 'Ba'la' [I'm full] to counter this).
By then, the 90's techno music has started out on the street (apparently no one has contested the stereo store's practice of demonstrating their wares loudly. All day. Oh, and we're talking a ten or fifteen song loop. Everyday, the same).
10am -'tsui sau' (push hands practice [martial {physical, energetic, spiritual} sensing and applications of taichichuan)practice with Sifu Mao. He is grandmaster Dong Zengchen's top disciple here.
12pm -lunch at Sifu Xia's or at a restaurant
Afternoon -practice with other locals, or shower and email, or work (a bit)...
5pm -Dinner at Sifu Xia's
7pm -Taichi form and push practice
9pm -try to ride home without getting sucked into techno line dancing (huge fad hundreds of people (almost exclusively women of all ages -who by the way, I have never seen smoking...It's the men who smoke and drink))participate and or watch on the wide sidewalks in front of the aformentioned stereo shop(or radio station -I'm not sure what the place is -but they line dance on both sides of the street!). It's really a challenge -maybe not even possible in one lifetime, to explain and illustrate this phenomenon~! It's actually a pretty good workout (I thought I might have pulled my quadrecept last night) resembling a tango/cha cha/...well, country line dance. There are diferent sequences too(just when I was getting the hang of one, and the crowd was doing less laughing and even some 'aahh! and oohh!'-ing, the girls at the front changed it, and I was back to stumbling and craning my head around to stare at the shuffling, twisting, kicking boots and slippers around me~).
Then, after avoiding the insistance of some drunk guys that we push hands with them; they had heard we were here to study the arts. Didn't seem like a good idea.
10pm back to the house, a bit more practice and talk...out into the dark brick ----house (no roof, just stars on a clear night, or smog -they still use coal here~)...then to bed.
It's been consistent. As for the Taichichaun (chuan is 'fist', and is the name of practicing the true art, called 'the supreme ultimate'), I'm making progress, it's really a subtle and difficult art and technique. And for around here, I'm getting started pretty late. If I wasn't big with long arms, I would have got floored by a ten year old two nights ago. This kid is amazing...whole body connected, he followed the circles of movement (when engaged with me), and his twists were deep rooted and used core strength...Wow!
Much Love
ps. I'm learning how to make these awesome bun things...and I look forward to treating you to them when we meet again!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

China addendum

Ok, it's not a hole in the ground. It's a brick platform with a hole that is a slide, and the slide leads down behind the wall to an outdoor holding pit, also made of bricks. It is remarkable that the smell is as mild as it is...must be something to do with the open air...or all that tofu.
The other day, I was up on the roof raking corn, spreading it to dry. We're talking thousands of cobs husked -a corn sand beach. They later put in a device that measures the moisture content, and when it's dry enough, you bag it up in big sacks and lower it off the roof using an ingenious method of working it down the outside wall with two long ropes. Pretty smart cookies over here -other than that they almost all smoke! The sifus that I'm learning from both smoke while they're riding around on their (motor)bikes. It's not what I expected. 'Course, having expectations in life is not reccomended.
Careful though -that's not the same as having intentions and realizing that you are creating your reality...allow for surprises and manifestations of blessings and teachers through the UNEXPECTED. Like, yesterday, a drunk chinaman was telling my (through his wife that knew some english) that if I was learning taichi and chinese medicine, I should learn the language and culture. Instead of resisting because of his brash rudeness, I decided that this was going to be a beneficial interaction; to create beauty and harmony out of it...I took his forcefulness, and instead of fighting it -pushing him away (by ending the conversation or arguing), I went with his momentumn; I agreed with him wholeheartedly and said that since he was so encouraging, I should learn chinese. And who better to teach me than his wife who was translating for us...SO I asked for her number and got them to commit (what else could they do?!) to teaching me when I come back to Rien Xien!
If I come back. I'm not sure. For the first couple weeks in November, we are going to be touring China, then down to Hong Kong and Macau...and then, to Thailand to visit Colt! YAY! Then, I don't know where I'll go. I sure have great connections here through Grandmaster Dong though! Right now, Reid (a fellow student) and I, have a house all to ourselves. No shower though. There are public bathouses 10 yuen each...but you get your own room; shower, tub...and all the hot water you like!
Then you can go get sweaty doing line dancing to techno music on the night streets, with all the old ladies. Not joking. Line dancing. 'Boom, boom, boom, boom. I want you in my room...'

Monday, October 23, 2006


Aaahhh Wonderful family,
I'm alive and well. It looks like my cell phone's out of minutes if you've been trying to reach me (I was text messaging Luke). I'm here in Rein Xien, a small (100 000) town on the outskirts of Xingtai city (6 million! -and it's not even on most maps of China~!) southwest of Bejing. Master Dong said this town was around a thousand people when he grew up!
I'm sick of eating. And drinking. I've been getting so stuffed...all his friends and relatives and disciples take us out for lunch and dinner, and try to get me drunk on 40+% chinese wine. They don't believe me when I say I'm full, and they have bad teeth...don't mean to be bitter...My ass is sore from sitting through long unintelligible conversation...puncuated by me saying 'RY-an' realllly slowly, to which the asker replies something like "Ly ena, or weileirn, or leieralnne...". Seriously.
I'm probably worse at Chinese. It all sounds like mumbling and slurring... 'Course, it could be the host is on his -th glass. I say ' buchero' -no eat meat, 'neihao' -hello, 'XiaXia' thankyou. That's it. I haven't really been studying. Rather, I have been harvesting peanuts and bok choy, planting garlic, and pick-axing garden outside master Dong's wife's family home. Some meditating too, after dinner to sober up (from now on I don't care if they think I'm rude and insulting them, I won't drink more than I feel like. -and if they pour me some anyway, I wait till they're not looking, or motion with my other hand as a decoy, then pour the firewater between my legs, or into my 'almost finished' bowl of soup! It's finished after that. HA HA HA!) Also, I've done some dishes and watched them cook when we eat in -the food is delicious.
Oh, what I'd do for some french toast.
Ohhh...cherios and milk,
-sorry fantizing again...
People balk and stare when I walk down the street; this is not a regular tourist destination, and it seems like some have never seen a 'live' chiuaua' or whatever it is they call westerners. They're friendly though, laughing and saying 'Hello'. I am amazed by the variance in facial structure and features. Maybe I'm noticing the subleties -I think it has something to do with the mongol influence too. It's amazing looking at the fields when we drive outside of the city and I think, 'There's been people living here, working these fields, steady, for over 5 thousand years. Some say 10 000. I haven't seen any old temples or buildings yet though. That'll be soon.
I'm pretty amazing at their technology. There's a strange mix; people on ancient tractors, talking on cell phones. Everybody rides bikes or scooters, except for the rich few with new cars, and the cabs. Most people garden -for food. The home layouts are a big wall surrounding seperate buildings (rooms) around a courtyard. They've come up with some cool ideas; Bike seats that flip up so the don't get rained on. Strange dolly wheelbarrow things. Hangy plastic things instead of doors...It's cool seeing how they've innovated for their lifestyle here. There's no lines on the road -everyone's all over, and the drivers honk more than a child left in a car alone who just figured out what pressing the middle of the steering wheel does. No accidents though. If there is, I'm told they don't call the cops. They just yell, and/or lay there, trying to wheedle money out of each other. They've cut the insurance companies right out of the loop.
Well, what else?...I can hardly remember what a toilet flushing sounds like. If someone does have a toilet -usually a porcelain hole, the shower is not far -just look up. Yup. They economize. You can do two at once. Where I'm at now, you just walk to the far side of the courtyard, and around a brick wall; I am good with the shovel -throwing some dirt down the hole so flies aren't buzzing around the next guys balls, or...whatever. Byop. p=paper.~
My tai chi is improving -training with the locals. I have bruises on my arms and a cut on my head...Don't worry though; A few of them have ended up on their backs laughing it off recently too! I'm Trying not to be too culture shocked -going from the Alberta/Saskatchewan border to the chinese/shitting in a hole in the corner border...
I miss you and LOVE you all,

ps. For you frugal types: Apparently I got ripped off today when I paid the equialent of 15 cents for three banannas...and I've been offered to rent a three bedroom apt...210 yuen a month.
1 dollar = 7 yuen. ~

"The place where you are right now,
God circled on a map for you"

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Lots to report. I will write a book on it...For now though, I'm a little pressed for time. I going to China tommorrow and I haven't packed yet.

Love is ALL

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Shambhala, dart test, universal being

Such an amazing trip. I have to collect my thoughts and memories and expand. Wow...
for now;
Its like seeing your first shooting star. Naked.
for those that don't know,

I think this is a great story-exersise~ Especially for thoses folks that say they love Jesus, and hate other people! I think a neat twist would be to put a picture of the person drawing the 'hated person' under the paper...then the lesson would be something in the neighbourhood of 'we are all connected, part of the same whole, and the emotions and actions you put out are those that create your 'self' and your reality -inner, and outer...'

Ryan -Here's the story, I got it in an email:

Dart Test...
>>>A young lady named Sally relates an experience she had in a
>>>seminary class, given by her teacher, Dr. Smith .She says that Dr.
>>>Smith was known for
>>>his elaborate object lessons.
>>>One particular day, Sally walked into the seminary and knew they
>>>were in for a fun day. On the wall was a big target and on a
>>>nearby table were many darts. Dr. Smith told the students to draw
>>>a pictture of someone that they disliked or someone who had made
>>>them angry, and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's
>>>Sally's friend drew a picture of who had stolen her boyfriend.
>>>Another friend drew a picture of his little brother. Sally drew a
>>>picture of a former friend, putting a great deal of detail into
>>>her drawing, even drawing pimples on the face. Sally was pleased
>>>with the overall effect she had achieved.
>>>The class lined up and began throwing darts. Some of the students
>>>threw their darts with such force that their targets were ripping
>>>apart. Sally looked forward to her turn, and was filled with
>>>disappointment when
>>>Dr. Smith, because of time limits, asked the student to return to
>>>their seats. As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because
>>>she didn't have a chance to throw any darts at her target. Dr.
>>>Smith began removing the target from the wall.
>>>Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. A hush fell over the
>>>room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes
>>>and jagged marks covered His face and His eyes were pierced.
>>>Dr. Smith said only these words....
>>>"In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these my
>>>brethren, ye have done it unto Me."
>>>Matthew 25:40.
>>>No other words were
>>>necessary; the tears filled eyes of the students focused only on
>>>the picture of Christ.
>>>This is an easy test; you score 100 or zero. It's your choice. If
>>>you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions.
>>>Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you,
>>>before My Father."

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

There the twain shall meet

The steep hoo-doo banks crumble slowly,
slope steeply
to the gravel based river snaking below.
Water flows relatively clear here along the south Saskatchewan
compared to the clay based muddy Red deer.
Unkown to their eddies
currents swirling bulges
muddily emerging
to the light
then dipping deep into dark
water shading itself,
they travel together.
To each other
are destined to meet, merge;
slithering spirals
of mud and water ribbons
braiding long past the forks
just a few kilometers east
into saskatchewan from here. Now called Empress, Alberta.

The ancient paths
follow the indents
of by-gone glacier's bellies,
have cut through the prarrie
into jurrasic sea bottom;
sun bleached crumbled sand and rock
whispering white hot
memories of violent surges,
muted under the endless flowing
blue sky; mountains born in oceans under a younger sun than ours.
Rounded now,
rolling hills flow broad horizons
where cappillaries of
creeks and streams carve coullies down to the flood flats shores.
Beds of green
hide in these hollow places
by pregnant hills
and well pressed plateaus
exposed along the shore. Sandstone and dinosaur bones
-hold their pose against entropy,
overlooking the calm
plaster of the rivers slow bleed.
Gravity eroding beneath them
sky to stick out into.

Sandbars surface and show rocks
polished round by a million ripples of spring floods.
deep over your head,
birds dart and swirl mysteries
of circles -yellow, red, black, white.
In the ravine
their calls blend with echoes of drums, and the buried stones
and songs of camp fires and teepee rings; now soft bulges in time
sleeping beneath a few feet of earth in
lines of short trees and brush that bush up like pubic hair,
protecting the secrecy of the deepest creases
along the empty hillside.
The empty hillside;
coarse grass and cactus
sigh and bow
with the sage. Mourning buffalo and native slaughter.
The empty hillside
-As if it's moving around you!
Squirming, slithering! Undulating bodies in the dust!

Snakes. A nearby hibernaculum.
Deep pits shared by thousands
as they sleep
through the long winter intertwined.
Rattlesnakes, Bullsnakes, Gardersnakes;
enemies -separate entities, in the wide open plains of summer,
They come
They find each other
at their forks; the scent alluring.
draws all into one.
The invisible flow of deep currents
twisting knots of life
under the snow.


The face of the dragonfly
Is practically nothing
But eyes.


"Life is a series
of natural
and spontaneous changes
Don't resist them
That only creates sorrow
Let reality be reality
Let things flow naturally forward
In whatever way they like" Lao-Tse
Love Enjoy Create Be
it" Ryan

Sunday, July 09, 2006

World Cup

I wasn't really sure who I was cheering for...(such is the nature of libra rising~). I basically have Italian in my blood, after working at so many Italian restaurants, and having Italian friends and roommates...they where exciting to watch against Germany, for sure. I liked france too though, having French ties through Montreal...and Zidane IS SO GOOD -so skilled with such vision! So, I just enjoyed the game and then -!!!- Zidane decided he wasn't just playing soccer!!! He figured he'd add a little Ultimate fighting Championship to the mix. That was an awesome head butt (I figure he was still unconciously chagrined at himself for narrowly missing that goal (a header) earlier on in the game, so he decided he'd take it out on an Italian, and get it right!). I'm surprised the Italian didn't have a broken sternum. Yes, Zidane was provoked, by a pinch or a poke or whatever...but in sports, and life, people with lesser skill rely on such devious tactics to get ahead. It is the mark of a true master to not let his ego get in the way of the goal. Zidane failed that test. In front of a billion people. I hope he'll not be too hard on himself...just learn your lesson, change, and get it next time(life?). Yeah, so that's my thoughts on the game.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

A letter of mine to my friend and mentor Dr. Christian Perez -I like it, thought you might too...

Hi Christian,
Its great to hear from you. I too was out east for my last week off; I had some of my stuff still in storage in Montreal, so I've now got that all sent here, and also, I timed it so that I could attend a tai chi/push hands workshop with grandmaster Dong who was touring out east from Hawaii. Also, I went for two days to New York to visit a friend from high school who is living there and working as an architect in Manhattan. Wow! It was not really a laid back vacation! Very exciting though, and a vibrant cutural contrast to my life on these wide open horizons of the praries. I know what you mean about the cities...I enjoyed them while there, but to be among nature again; to be back among trees and grass and rivers and...oil rigs~ well, most of it's refreshing! Actually, for the last week, we have been rained out of work, so I'm spending a lot of time meditating and doing tai chi and yoga...and watching world cup soccer in my hotel room here in Empress, AB. This is a delightful little town just on the border of saskachewan, an hour and a half north of Medicine hat. It was a bustling town in the early 1900's, boasting over a thousand people. Now it's almost a ghost town, with just less than 100 residents, old buildings abandoned, and land sold dirt cheap. It's in a beautiful fertile valley along the forks of where the red deer river and south saskechewan river meet. The sky morphs on all sides; dark storm clouds surge upward, tear along the prarie, purple and grey bulging mass sweeps with lightening and columns of torrential rain over tough catus and praries grasses, cutting swaths through blue sky, high cloud, and breezy sunny days. Natives considered this a sacred place (is any place not sacred?~), and used to winter here among the willows and rocky coullies. They left giant stone medicine wheels, buffalo jumps and teepee rings for us to wonder at what their world might have felt like. The wind still feels the same, and I'm sure the sunsets are as beautiful...
I am very keen on apprenticing under you, although if the summer continues to ride on clouds of rain, then I won't be as rich as I had planned...and might have to cut short or cancel my China trip in order to be able to begin with you in January. Alas, I have faith and intetions that it will all work out beautifully either way. What will be will be!
All the best, and I look forward to seeing you in Canmore when I get some time off.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Buffer time After tearing up 10 meters of earth on the outskirts of Empress, Alberta

Alive and well. Enjoying the ups and downs of being human. A week ago I was driving after work, exhausted, from a 12 hour graveyard shift. My first night back from my wonderful vacation; a whirlwind of taichi workshops, friends, and new universes born. I was cutting it too close; coming home and beginning work without buffer time.
I woke up headed into the ditch on my right. It was shallow, and if I would have relaxed, gone straight, I would have slowed down, stayed on four wheels...or at least two, then stopped. Probably would've been able to drive out. When you wake up driving into a ditch at around 100 km/per hour you might find your first response is "Oh, fuck, I should have pulled over! I shouldn't have been partying as much! I should be high in the mountains meditating!" as you crank on the wheel to try to get back on the road. Not wise. When the road is wet, you might find you've turned to far, have lost your traction, are skidding headlong into the other ditch. I did. Fighting with the wheel was fruitless. Like trying to play the racing game at the arcade without putting a quarter in. No control. I braced myself, kind ducked. Hunkered down with arms straight, I was flung around, upside down, spinning, crashing...tunnel vision gives way to closed eyes -Priceless violent circus ride. then, stopped.
Quick thinking and the unconcious clarity of shock, adrenalin bleeding into arteries and which way is up...-get the engine off so it doesn't explode or catch fire. Done. Get out. Which way is up? Seat belt is so tight, I must be the side, earth and grass and glass out the driver's side window, the van is on it's side -get out. I'm hanging on the seat belt. Take it off, the engine is hissing, fuck, it's stuck, pull yourself up, push the button. In my head I see me, create me, the hero; "In an amazing show of strength" is the commentary and I pull myself up and gauge at the button. It's fused, still holding. Get my jack knife, usually in the coffee cup holder -not there, knife, coffee, change, nothing! All thrown out and around the van by centrifugal force. Think hero. Panic. NO. Breathe. Recline your seat. Genius! I squirm out, back into the chaos of my overturned house; the matress, my tool box, bag of clothes, jammed together to hug the earth through the side of the van. Stand on the drivers door, the handle and the elbow rest, and climb out -"Sunshine?" Comes Sal's voice, the roughneck on my crew. Cliff's voice: "Sunshine, are you in there? Are you ok?"
THEY CAME BACK! They must have turned around -"I'm ok" -climbing out, falling into their arms. I cut my finger and my knee, squeezing out of the jagged smashed broken window; collapsed roof, crumpled structure bars...
I know I'm in shock. Cool as a cucumber. I wonder if I died. If when you die, you just go to a parallel universe, an identical reality where you start from where you left off. It raining and I can feel it on my skin. I need to get to the Hotel and get some french toast, and an omlette. I go back in through the broken rear window and find my cell phone, take the keys, the insurance papers. Dig out my wallet, throw some stuff in a bag.
Did some tai chi and meditated in the Hotel bathroom to calm down...turn on that parasympathetic, hmmmmm...almost cried, back there, feeling my life is a mess. Living on the edge, cutting everything close, traveling with no money, jumping with no safety chute. Pushing it. Fuck, it feels like I screwed up. That I'm a slow learner. I should have my shit together.
I'm alive and well, and my story is that I am blessed -that I appreciate life -enjoy the ups and downs of being human, and am pursuing my full potential, and I'm not finished yet, I get another chance. I've got more to learn, to experience...something to do -be -give. Thank you. Namaste.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Words in streams Worlds in dreams

freestyle hip hop poetry itinerary
Moncton for Tai Chi
May 26-29th Tuesday 30
May I arrive into New York Around 9:30
pm at the downtown

Port Authority,
625 8th Ave
Should i take a bus or subway to you?


I leave on friday june 2nd on the
815 (*!%) am track train to
through lush love
spring green bursting
To tai chi and party till
tuesday the 6th

Ryan I

Here's some poetry:

The TO visit is indefinitely postponed ~

didn't work with my other travels...and budget...time
this time
Mine is a shared vista in your hearts and vise
AND if I was a rich man"
I'd be there
and I am.
Don't worry,
these friction
currencies, they...
shape our lives: These friction
the lack of which is constriction
are not cash.
Though it's power
to plough
move through material density
surfing life
sensitivity -propencity to
-know your story
-write your story
in a
way that works


p o t e n t i a l i t i e s

With sun sparkling perks~!

from flat empty crammed
low dimensions
to Plenum's possibilities
grand and endless.
So while I'm not there -I am.
I'll always be with you
Now we do
'yoo hoo?' you are there
I'm here
sperate missions
good visions
to you;

round yourself with golden sphere
visualize healing energy,
God is near
-er than you think
so trust,
stay out of your way;
let you open like a flower
and enjoy
manifestations of
higher self here,
lead the chi
-listen close and
it won't be long
you will compose
we'll compose,
weave a dream
sharing love time, our song
and space
go exploring
immensity focused
on the earth walls of intensity
touching edge
of a leaf from the tree of life
From the mud to the blood
blossoming Lily


'The face of the dragonfly
Is practically nothing
But eyes.'


"Life is a series
of natural
and spontaneous changes
Don't resist them
That only creates sorrow
Let reality be reality
Let things flow naturally forward
In whatever way they like" Lao-Tse

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Me, North. You, South.

Now I'm leasehand/roughnecking on a rig up near Wabasca, Alberta. NORTH. DEEP in the BUSH! So far I've got to see Conklin, Lac la Biche, Red Earth Creek, Peace River, Slave lake...the gems of the north~
I stayed in for my week off, so by the time I get out, it'll have been well over a month straight of 12 hour days. By then we'll be drilling south, near Brooks or Medicine Hat, for the warm months. I'm gettin' in good shape, whoa! And my vocabulary is shrinking. Well, fuckin' changin', anyway(!). Get it?
I've lost 80 dollars at poker. So far.
But life is good. I make it so; trying to be conscious in every moment, enjoy the present, with all its hidden (and not so hidden) challenges and pleasures, realize its always changing. All adventure. Tuck my experiences in my emotional travel bag. (Watch the movie waking life. You'll understand.) Keep Rockin'!
The cook is helping! I get my own personal vegetarian meals everyday! And we share tea.
It's tough to find time to meditate and do tai chi...but I do that all day. Lifting things with my core (dan tien) strength, shifting my weight and balance, observing my breathing,
relaxing my shoulders...

Yeah, you just relaxed yours, right?
Chanting to the dawn, waving to the beautiful shining black crows gliding in concentric cirlces. Their intelligence I'm sure can decipher my attempt at a friendly caw; they cock their head and raise a wing?! Saying hi to the trees.
I pray some...but generally it's a state of mind. Awareness.

Then sometimes you'll find me, when I'm on a monotonous job like spraying the coveralls, scheming. Calculating the cost of tuition at different naturopathic and chinese medicine schools, figuring overhead and food cost/hourly wages for running my parents cafe/restaurant in Osoyoos. Thinking expansion, advertising, profit margin. How I'll use this boost as a steping stone to help usher in a brighter future for Earth. Do my part to increase our efficiency and harmony. Unity in diversity. To bless this place in real concrete ways.

Then, my mind skips to my anticipated travels; how I'm going to get to Montreal in May, to get the rest of my stuff out of storage and meet up with my tai chi compadres, maybe catch a tam tam(that's a big drumming festival that happens every sunday at Parc Mont Royal)...See if I can zip down to NYC and check out some museums, galleries, broadway shows...
I have to fit this in with my budget for this November's martial arts/meditation journey to China with tai chi chuan Grandmaster Dong Zheng Chen. Then maybe I'll trip southwest for part of the winter. Thailand, Bali...maybe India, Nepal...Tibet? Back through Hawaii~?!
More calculating...More spraying...

Soon, I'll get new boots. Ones that don't have holes in them. Then I will be able to make it through the day on only one or two pairs of socks~! I'll still get dirty though. Everyday. It's pretty much impossible not to. Wow. Have I been covered in mud. COVERED! I LOVE THIS SHIT! I used to go play in the mud as a kid -didn't even get paid for it.
The sketchy thing here though is that the mud is difinitely not 'just mud'. I hope my wei chi is enough to get rid of those chemicals that we pour into it.

And rarely, when I'm feeling lucky, when I'm aware of the grace of God, and the sun is blazing the clouds warm puples and oranges -shining just right, through the trees to the west. Then I'll let my mind wander. Tentatively caress and embrace the love I hope for. The love we share. Realized. Nurtured and nurturing this life. The things we'll do; walking life's road together. How we'll strenthen each other and enrich each others lives -better our fantasies and indulge in sensual love where we find ourselves humming on all spectrums. Shield each other in misfortune and find the gold therein. Keep in it and compromise. Surf life together. And face all our fears with flexed muscles, relaxed smiles and songs melting the ghosts away.
That's when I hope, humbly, and I can go near there with my heart. Feel your smell tingle through my body, my lips brushing your skin and I can taste you on my tongue. Your lips so close, and our minds intense in gentle acsension, spiraling slowly together,
comfortable folds of darkness birthing the light of love.
And we'll laugh about those first hours, hold hands as we did then. But longer,

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I fell in love with a beautiful fish.

Life's about the journey...and this one took me through craters and canyons, crags and caves...
cornicopias of shapes,
carved out of Lava...this field was huge
(this big)

Here's my supermodel slow-mo at 'The Fishbowl'

And back's rough~!


Sometimes I look cool...
That's what the top of the world looks like;
Halekala, Maui's volcano (click on this to enlarge it...the colours
of the soil gradation are amazing)
We're Jammin'...
"The land is always wanting to be a tree, a flower."
-Raquel Feiro, biologist, saint.

More Maui March 05

Me and Rick, exploring Maui. He's so cool. What a brotha.
I love these two...dark and dense clouds and water
light from the heavens

Tucked among a grove of evergreen,
I might get married,
here in Rivendale. Er, Maui... Gimme a Why, eh, why!
What does it spell?

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

My letter to the editor, Calgary Herald

RE: Harper stands tall against Kyoto by Charles Frank, Fri 13th

Charles Frank, the Conservative party, and even the Liberals, are spewing the single-minded, manic, capitalist verbatim that is the cause of a threatened future for our children and the rapidly widening economic and environmental gap that creates imbalance, strife, war, disease and terror increasingly in our world.

Moreover, it is not economically sound. Example:

Today, as many as 1 in 6 Canadian children suffer from asthma. A few generations ago, it was less than one in one hundred. Change in DNA and the human species evolves over millions of years -although I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Frank was insistent upon the more CONSERVATIVE estimate of 6000, thus only environmental changes are to blame. The cost in dollars -not to mention human suffering and inconvenience, to administer health care for these asthmatics, is one of the hidden downfalls of inefficient, exclusively profit driven system. This is shown brilliantly in the film, ‘The Corporation’; that WE first world nations -the RICHEST people on earth, are refusing to tighten our belts a little, be cleaner and more efficient, and look out for the greater interest of our earth and fellow humanity by sacrificing some of the CREAM of our wealth, is SHAMEFUL. We need to think globally –Not flat, Mr. Frank. I know, it’s challenging. A globe is all connected, spherical, and what goes around comes around. If you were poor on the other side of the globe, or a child with asthma, YOU WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO VOTE CONSERVATIVE.

We are such a blessed and rich country, and planet. There is more than enough to go around if we can get it out of the deep pockets of the rich elite. Take a break from watching their T.V. stations. At the website below, you can review how the five political parties responded to a set of 11 urgent environmental questions. Rather, four parties; the Conservatives didn’t even care enough to respond. Or, maybe, they were too ashamed.

Saturday, January 14, 2006


Enjoy the pics.
There's more text at the bottom.
The streets of Dijon, from my friend L.A.'s c.1400 apartment! I love the mustard~
No Shit, ~that red thing is an escalator and that's part of the new College of art and Design in downtown Toronto, behind/over the Art Gallery of Ontario! Those support pipes are like, 12 feet in diameter...Who?nami?what? Yeah...~~~! Those artists are all high.
I loved these doors on the church in Dijon, France. Above, in the arch, note the inspiring engraving of Jesus whipping the religious and political leaders of his day -driving them out of the temple because they had turned it from a house of prayer into a marketplace for profit...Check it! (Mattew 21:12-16, Mark 11:15-18,Luke 19: 45-46). The idiot, ignoramous, close-minded, money grubbing religious and political leaders of our day might do well with a good whipping too!~~ (Jk. I'm big into non-violence...but what the fuck?!~)
Definitely what the Fuck?!~
I like gardening. Ya know, plants and things... Lookin' at insects and blades of grass up close. Cooooll~!
Hey. Talk to trees and plants...seriously, they love it.
Then listen.
Listen to your heart...~~

B.T.W. I meditate now (without smoking herb), and I love the clarity.
Still talk to plants.

More of my Galavanting

I'm in the back, to your left, with good friends on Hawaii's Big Island at (the wonderful, awesome, very cool and very deadly) Grandmaster Dong Zeng Chen's 2005 Tai chi Chuan camp.
At Baja Bob's beverage bar in Osoyoos, B.C. Best smoothies ever! See down for directions.
My friend Rick's friend swimming off Maui.
Why can't Rick be friends with Sea turtles?
Rick caught this hyper-color (remember those t-shirts?) sunset flaring over the fresh glowing lights of Bloor St.(at Major) in the Annex in was probably the best neighbourhood I've lived in. Funky shops and late-night lounges, indy-theatres, fringe-festivals,
24 hour everything, incence laden yoga studios...and, only 10 minutes walk to the south; me, framed by graffiti's swirling green and yellow down in the awesome, and inexpensive Kensington Market.
I didn't plan to match with the door...

Some fav. pics of me and fellow galaxy dwellers

Chala the shining Leo, stricken by the beauty of it all...and myself, not sure if that's a real flying saucer...or if the cookies are kicking in...
Our brains cells do this, Our blood vessels, Our selves -from God to spirit to higher self to soul little cute floating leaf! I love trees!
Laury Anne, my beautiful friend from France. In France. E' moi.
Oh! Such Beautiful souls I am honoured to walk amongst. Here Colt, Laura, and ? then me in Green Knickers...This is in Osoyoos, B.C. -Canada's only desert! Go to Baja Bob's smoothies and Lemonade (just west of the (yuck!) Dairy queen on Highway 3)...Great drinks to cool you down. And you might find me there...

OOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! MMMMMmmmmmmm...~my fave. Rick and Tony's famous home made Pizza (this is IN Rick and Tony's old place in Toronto). Rachel's digging too.!


Friday, January 13, 2006

Near Banff, Home.

Got (indigestion from) milk?

Imagine if you could ride your bike so fast-I mean,
one time,
I rode my bike so fast, I flew!

Still in a job on the rigs near Ft. Mcmurray.
Having fun in the meantime hanging out with Luke, Maddie,
Claire, Alex and their little one, and Jenn.

I'd like to write more...but I've been spending a lot of time
trying to put some pics on here...

I guess I'm going to have to stop and ask for help.

Monday, January 09, 2006


First entry into Blog.

Blog. Big Log. That's what we'll go with for now.

AND what do I offer, via my Big log? Hmmmm....
Well, this is what I've been digesting lately: The ruling elite are fat on the pinnacle,
and the rest of us would do well to wake up, shake 'em down a few rungs,
and live this life on it's highest resonance. Bring up the vibes, and
break some paradigms.

So, you Canadians:
Jan. 23 (or before)
VOTE GREEN!!! Check 'em out at
Then get off your ass and vote; people have died so you can.
They're way smarter than you think they are...and it's not wasting a vote.
It's thinking long term.
Then watch 'The Corporation'

How am I? Ryan? (this density, Jan 9 2006, earthschool)

Now, broke.
In a week, a Job should be coming down the pipe;

already in imagination I'm drilling for mastercard.
'Oil, that is.'

Yeah, back in AB, taking a break from university -more like a U-turn,
to get dirty on the rigs. 'Gotta work within the system to get beyond it.
I'm excited to imagine the parties and gifts I will lavish on my patron saints
that have been keeping me afloat as I make the transition from
living in the beautiful cities of Toronto and Montreal, as an Actor Bohemian studying Philosophy and Creative writing at Concordia,
to 'Tai Chi grasshopper, awakening to the path of holistic health and growth, and training to understand and practice energetic healing, and ALIVE living '
the plan is to do some heavy manual labour. Pay off my big lifestyle and travel debts (Hawaii and France where awesome!)
and gather a nest egg to spend on a traditional Chinese medicine school,
or to fund my apprenticeship under an advanced soul here in Canada (maybe even in my beautiful hometown of Canmore), Hawaii, China, or wherever, that will teach me these subtle systems of being.
It's Art and Science...and I love both.
SO, it's all working according to plan!
as a wonderful friend of mine says,
"Just try to stay out of your way"
In terms of the black and white
material realities...It's tough.
But it would be impossible without the love of you all.
I was telling Jess from Montreal that finacially,
I'm like a plane. Just now,
plunged from the heights of a 10 000 meter peak,
terminal velocity speed
sucking flesh and watering eyes and -pulling up,
barely -straining,
grazing the blades of grass...

Golf courses should hire me.~

Today in the big tower
down on the bottom floor
here in Cowtown,
found out
BMO ( ank of ntreal)

now has 105 of my non-dollars,
just for me not putting any in, while CIBC took
out 200 to pay themselves back for the money the government
sent me to go to school. Oh, I'm getting an education.

Funny how I can't get a line of credit, but they'll take me into the negative anytime.
Two banks and Ryan = DP
Don't want to be dreary for you though;
the hills are alive
with the
(around Luke's house at least~)
~ (like that little symbol)

and the moon's in Taurus...
So, I may be broke, sleeping on my friend's futon, but I've got my own

a backpack.

If I can extoll one thing right now, other than the usual miracle that we exist at all, as fingerlings of God (the great spirit, oneness -whatever you want to call...), that life is beautiful and breath-taking. Harsh, and worth it...
It's that friends, those growing with us and around us,
all tangled in our roots,
are God's love to me,
and I'm glad I'm not that tree all alone against the wind

...I'd look all funny and pushed over to one side
-like my hair!

Oh yeah. I'm growing a pony tail~